Tag Archives: respect

Trust and Respect – Between Manager and Employee

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I have been in the management level for over 10 years now and one thing I learn over the years when it comes to getting things done is the importance of “Trust and Respect”. From my experience the trust and respect of manager place over the employees are more important than the other way round.

The old way of managing employees whereby employees must “kau tau” to managers is a thing of the past. This was true several decades ago when employees must show their loyalty to the companies they work for by following the orders of management. Nowadays, most resumes of job seekers are 2 pages long because on average they change jobs within 2 years.

In the new ways of working, there are more and more employees working remotely. Getting things done do not involve face to face meeting – everything is done through Zoom or other forms of teleconferencing. The question is how do you get the work done when you are not looking over the shoulders of the employees. Building trust and respecting each other are the answers.

One of the most difficult things to do when it comes to managing employees is building trust but it takes time. To start you need to hire the right person and the person has to be dependable. The same person will also need to be able to get work done with limited management. However, the ability of the employees could be stunted if management does not trust the employees and continue to micro-managing the work.

On the other hand the employees also need to demonstrate that they are dependable and be able to work with minimal supervision. The best way for the employee to achieve this is by taking ownership of the project or task assigned and complete it within budget or timeline. And needless to say that this takes time depending on the size of the organization. Employees in small companies or departments can achieve this within relatively short time. On the other hand, large companies do require more time.

In my previous job I had to manage a small team to redesign the reporting tool for the department. I was given the task as I inherited the reporting task for the Internal Audit function. Prior to that most work was done in Excel and it is usually prone to errors. The reporting tool I created was so well received that I expanded the reporting function. As the tool grew, the reporting tool became bloated. Having put a team together, I assigned tasks to different members of the team. As I delegated the tasks I learned to trust the work that was completed by each member. And in turn, the team members learn to trust me.

Once you build the trust, there should also be respect involved. Trust can only go so far if there is no respect for one another. The respect I am referring to is that everyone is different and there should be an understanding that each and everyone work differently. Additionally everyone has different circumstances why they work. Some may work to support a family while some may work for a very different reason.

I recall several years ago when I started working in my current job the manager I worked for tend to have a short temper. I’ve known him for a number of years but never work with him. As I get to know him more I realized that he is a very difficult person to work for. Not only he has short temper, I found out that he was sexist as well. My current subordinate used to work for him. She has a family and has different priorities than this manager. The manager always questioned the ability of this subordinate and verbally abused her multiple times. Obviously the exchange became heated up to a point a complaint was filed with Human Resources by the subordinate.

After the manager was fired, I took on the role of supervising the subordinate. As I got to know her more, I realized that not only we had a lot in common she can do good work if given the opportunity. As I place more reliance on her I gave her full reign of her work and let her take ownership of her work. Today she is an important member of the team and has earned praise among others through her work. She has thought me that if given the opportunity, with trust and respect positive things can be achieved.

Working environment is very different today as compared to previous years. Employees have as much say as managers of their work and career. As managers we should trust employees to work and at the same time we need to earn their trust as well. While it is hard to believe both managers and and employees have equal footings within an organization. The only differences are that managers have more responsibilities and are usually get paid more.


Secrets to a Healthy and Long Lasting Marriage (part 2)

This is the second part of my blog on how to maintain a long lasting marriage. Believe it or not, the answer is one-sided and for most men, they will not like the answer. The answer is quite simply making the wife happy. I’ve thought of many angles in this topic and came to conclusion that the saying “happy wife means happy life” is very true.

Before you jump the conclusion that I may be on drugs, I suggest that you read my arguments below. My reasoning below may sound unfair to most men but to keep a marriage healthy and long lasting, they must be followed. So, without further due, let’s begin.

She is Always Right

If you are married, you should know by now that women are more emotional than men. Men are more practical in dealing with day to day problems. Women on the other hand tend to view things that fit their mental needs. If any of the issue at hand does not fit their mental block, women tend to voice their dissatisfaction. So, what do I mean that women are always right. Believe it or not, because women are emotional being, they tend to be more observant. They will see things that men tend to ignore, more like a sixth sense. No, women do not have “spider sense” but they do provide additional insight that men might miss.

Another point is when arguing with women, they are always right (even though they are sometimes wrong). When my wife and I have any disagreement, I find it easier to diffuse the argument by agreeing with her. This is not to say that I say things to “shut” her up, rather that I find that by agreeing with her, we could calm ourselves down and have a better discussion. Needless to say that we rarely have any arguments because we learn to know each other thoughts and tend to agree in a lot of things.

Husband Must Always Support the Wife

I believe this is a “no brainer” because supporting each other is an important part of a marriage. However, the husband must put extra effort in supporting the wife in all occasions. This could be life’s daily tasks to wife’s mental needs. For example, when I come home from work, I will help my wife in her cooking and getting the dinner ready. Even though I spend all day working, I will come home and handle all the dishes. Another example is my wife is now a fitness instructor. Believe it or not there is quite a drama in this field of work. I am her biggest fan and continue to support her in her line of work. While this seems unfair at many different levels for men, but trust me that the fruits of the labor come in multi-fold. Over the years I find it easier to be the supporter since it has become second nature of mine to support my wife.

Treat Her Like a Queen

Women sacrifice a lot when it comes to taking care of the family. To top it off, they bear the burden for the next generation. That includes carrying a human being for 9 months, bear the pain and ultimately carry the scar. There is no way for any men to experience the pain of child bearing. Naturally men should treat women like the queen. In my eyes, my wife is the most amazing person in the world. Without her I don’t think I could be any close to what I am today. Hence, I always treat her like my queen and continue to tell her how I love her. Sadly I’ve heard many news how men decide to have extra-marital affair because their wives do not look like before they were married.

Wife Always Comes First

One of the major reasons why wife and mother-in-law never get along is because they are fighting for the same person, the husband. When a couple get married, the groom’s mother feel that she lost her son to another woman. On the front the mother feels happy for the couple, but she secretly holds a grudge. Whenever the mother gets a chance, she will try insert herself in the marriage. Unfortunately this places the husband in a position to choose a side. I learned the hard way when my wife got really angry with my mother and I sided with my mother. The end result was I hurt my wife deeply we almost ended in divorce. Now I place my wife first and my mother come in second. I will be spending the rest of my life with the woman I wed, not my mother.

Will any of the points I raised above will guarantee that your marriage will last forever? I sure hope so but then I also know that all marriage is different. I continue to shower my wife with all the love she deserves and our marriage is stronger than ever.