Tag Archives: marriage

Is This a Start of Another Journey?

I’m over 50 years old and I believe I have enough life experience to be a mentor. However, I consider myself as an introvert and rarely put myself in front of people and advertise myself. But my inner-self continue to nudge me to do better by helping others. With that being said, I’m on a new journey to become a Life Coach.

The bigger question that anyone who reads this may ask, “Are you qualified?” After much pondering and self-reflection, the answer is unequivocally “Yes!”

Stress and Mental Health

Mental health has become a big issue in recent years and anyone who may have experienced it continue to have lingering effects. I consider myself to be mental-health free because I love my life. I learned from experience how to tackle some of the stress away and I have a loving family to walk the life journey with me.

Career Advice

Another angle that I have expertise is my work experience in corporate America. I started as a lowly entry-level employee at Arthur Andersen. After spending over 5 years at Andersen (renamed from Arthur Andersen), I went to Citigroup where I spend 13 years going through all kinds of changes. This year will be my 7th year at HSBC and I love where I am. Over the years I learned to go through the intricacies of corporate world and be successful. Having said that, I believe I could be a great help for anyone who maybe interested in “making it” at big corporations.

Happily Married

Finally, I’m happily married to my wife of 24 years (that’s a quarter of lifetime!) There are ups and downs in our marriage but none came close to be severe enough to end our marriage. My wife and I learned to enjoy each other company and we learned to cherish each other. Without these commitments we would not have lasted so long and have 3 young adult children.

Enough of my self-proclaimed successes. Now let’s put my experience to work by helping other. As I continue to investigate how to “sell my service”, do keep a look out as I provide more tips on how to enjoy life (after all, that’s what my blog is about!) If you are interested in being my first client or if you need anything on the subjects that I noted above, please do let me know.

Let’s the journey begin!

Secrets to a Healthy and Long Lasting Marriage (part 2)

This is the second part of my blog on how to maintain a long lasting marriage. Believe it or not, the answer is one-sided and for most men, they will not like the answer. The answer is quite simply making the wife happy. I’ve thought of many angles in this topic and came to conclusion that the saying “happy wife means happy life” is very true.

Before you jump the conclusion that I may be on drugs, I suggest that you read my arguments below. My reasoning below may sound unfair to most men but to keep a marriage healthy and long lasting, they must be followed. So, without further due, let’s begin.

She is Always Right

If you are married, you should know by now that women are more emotional than men. Men are more practical in dealing with day to day problems. Women on the other hand tend to view things that fit their mental needs. If any of the issue at hand does not fit their mental block, women tend to voice their dissatisfaction. So, what do I mean that women are always right. Believe it or not, because women are emotional being, they tend to be more observant. They will see things that men tend to ignore, more like a sixth sense. No, women do not have “spider sense” but they do provide additional insight that men might miss.

Another point is when arguing with women, they are always right (even though they are sometimes wrong). When my wife and I have any disagreement, I find it easier to diffuse the argument by agreeing with her. This is not to say that I say things to “shut” her up, rather that I find that by agreeing with her, we could calm ourselves down and have a better discussion. Needless to say that we rarely have any arguments because we learn to know each other thoughts and tend to agree in a lot of things.

Husband Must Always Support the Wife

I believe this is a “no brainer” because supporting each other is an important part of a marriage. However, the husband must put extra effort in supporting the wife in all occasions. This could be life’s daily tasks to wife’s mental needs. For example, when I come home from work, I will help my wife in her cooking and getting the dinner ready. Even though I spend all day working, I will come home and handle all the dishes. Another example is my wife is now a fitness instructor. Believe it or not there is quite a drama in this field of work. I am her biggest fan and continue to support her in her line of work. While this seems unfair at many different levels for men, but trust me that the fruits of the labor come in multi-fold. Over the years I find it easier to be the supporter since it has become second nature of mine to support my wife.

Treat Her Like a Queen

Women sacrifice a lot when it comes to taking care of the family. To top it off, they bear the burden for the next generation. That includes carrying a human being for 9 months, bear the pain and ultimately carry the scar. There is no way for any men to experience the pain of child bearing. Naturally men should treat women like the queen. In my eyes, my wife is the most amazing person in the world. Without her I don’t think I could be any close to what I am today. Hence, I always treat her like my queen and continue to tell her how I love her. Sadly I’ve heard many news how men decide to have extra-marital affair because their wives do not look like before they were married.

Wife Always Comes First

One of the major reasons why wife and mother-in-law never get along is because they are fighting for the same person, the husband. When a couple get married, the groom’s mother feel that she lost her son to another woman. On the front the mother feels happy for the couple, but she secretly holds a grudge. Whenever the mother gets a chance, she will try insert herself in the marriage. Unfortunately this places the husband in a position to choose a side. I learned the hard way when my wife got really angry with my mother and I sided with my mother. The end result was I hurt my wife deeply we almost ended in divorce. Now I place my wife first and my mother come in second. I will be spending the rest of my life with the woman I wed, not my mother.

Will any of the points I raised above will guarantee that your marriage will last forever? I sure hope so but then I also know that all marriage is different. I continue to shower my wife with all the love she deserves and our marriage is stronger than ever.