Category Archives: Life Coaching

Raising Good and Responsible Next Generation

This subject is always up for debate and there are no right or wrong answers. Only bad ones. I have always stick to certain values when I start raising my kids and there are certain times I doubt if I’m doing the right things.

I am Asian born and raised in South East Asia. Hence, there are certain values instilled in me growing up by my parents and what I observed. These values are filtered and now build within my wife and me. Obviously these values are being passed down to my kids, of whom my eldest son is now considered an adult as he will be hitting the major milestone.

It is very difficult to compare and contrast one tradition over another. I can’t say Asian culture is better than Western culture or vise versa. All I can say is when we raise good responsible generation we need to use common sense.

I had good feedback over the weekend from my son when I was giving him a haircut. After this year he will graduate from Rutgers and get ready to head out on his own. Prior to that he will be heading to the West at Seatle for his internship. He told me that what I have telling him over the last years were really good suggestions and he thanked me for everything I taught him.

Being Financial Responsible

I’ve been teaching my kids of being financial responsible. While our family never shy away on spending money but we never spend lavishly. For example, we don’t rush out to but the newest gadgets or the newest cars. We spend what we can afford. And we don’t consider brand name items as must have – we go to WalMart when we can because we now we usually get good deals. Two months ago my son told me that he wanted to buy the latest BMW once he got a job. However, he told me that he no longer consider that option because he realized that the monthly car payment of $1,000 per month is too much and the money can be well spend on other important things.

Take Ownership of Self

When my kids were growing up my wife and I would check on their well beings every moment. As they grow older around middle school we started to relax a bit. As my son started to attend Rutgers I told him that I will no longer check on his education. In those years I been telling them that if they don’t take charge of their future, the only option for them to support themselves is by working McDonald’s. Having worked at a fast food restaurant during high school, my son had the experience that working in this industry is not sustainable. Now he aspires to be a software engineer and work for Amazon (he will be an intern at Amazon in Seatle).

Education is Important

Good education leads to success

Both my wife and I are not the typical Asians who want perfect grades. We let our kids experience the American values as much as we could by letting them have freedom on how they study. At the same time, we stress the importance of having good education as we believe this is the only way to get good job and may lead to good life. While some may debate that this is the wrong message to send, it is still unfortunately very true today. My son noticed this too as he found better opportunity while studying at Rutgers. He realized that some of his friends from high school who are not doing well at school are struggling – one of his friends even drop out of college and joined the Navy because he was just doing badly at the local college.

Don’t Spoon Feed – Use Force Feed

I remember the time when my son asked me to buy him a car when he turned 18. Obviously, I refused. He said he needed a car to travel to Rutgers for his education. I told him that he would be using my wife’s car but he was not allowed to use the car for hanging out with his friends. While that seems excessive he agreed to it. The only way for him to be able to use the car hanging out is to buy his own car. And that goes back to being financial responsible – because of the added pressure of financing and insurance he realized the stress of being able to afford for the car. I was surprised that he thanked me – he told me that if I’ve given his the car when the turned 18 he would not be where he is today. He has seen some of his friends who received a car for their birthdays turn out to be losers today as they have no concept of value and what is right or wrong.

Family Values

Our family of five has been very close. Whenever possible we always do things together and celebrate all milestones together. For this reason we never fight. Some may argue that some arguments or disagreements are healthy; I personally disagree. Arguments can escalate quickly and not everyone can forgive and forget easily. Our family likes to joke around and even when we have disagreements they tend to go away really quickly because we downplay them through laughter. As an example, my oldest son will be 21 this summer and all the years with his younger brother who is 3 years apart only had a verbal spat once. All my kids have strong bonds and continue to have good relationship with each other.

Every parent always worries what is the right thing to do or how to raise kids. While there are help books or various advice you could seek from friends or relatives every situation and every family is different. For me having hearing from my son that I’ve been doing things right is a good pat on the back and that I’ve done what I set out to do – by being a good parent and raise good and responsible kids.

Why Diet is More Important than Exercise!

The Covid-19 pandemic has a tremendous impact on everyone across the world. It is unfortunate for those who lost their lives to this horrible virus. It also upended a lot of lives for those who are still living.

I have been fortunate that I was able to continue to support my family by working remotely. This was as a result of how my company, HSBC, tackles the pandemic in the most unusual way. With the exception of those on the retail bank and the back-end system support, almost 99% of the employees were sent home to work.

Obviously, this also has impact on my family lives. Prior to the pandemic, all of us have all kinds of activities outside of our home. One of them is going to gym to get the required exercise. With the onset of the infection, everything was shut down including our township gym. Now that everything has been easing, the gym began to open up last year.

Since the early 2020 I stopped going to the gym and one of my biggest worries is that I will not be able to continue with my fitness routine. The net effect was I would gain weight and started to lose muscle mass that I worked so hard for.

Earlier this month as the Omnicron variant of the Covid-19 began to subside, I started going to the gym again. Immediately I noticed that I did not lose much of my muscle mass. The only problem is my muscle was not able to do the intense exercise that I used to do. It appears that I would need to retrain my muscle again. After a few sessions I was able to regain 80% of the muscle power I lost.

I started to ponder the question if going to the gym was useful. Don’t get me wrong, getting enough exercise will help in many ways. But if we are stuck in the bind as it clearly demonstrated in the last 2 years, getting the exercise may not that important.

In the 2 years working at home I rarely go out to get the required exercise. Twice a week I would spend a total of 2 hours working on my core. The rest of the time I spent in front of the laptop and eating.

I knew from beginning that I would have to change my lifestyle dramatically. Being passive at home can have major negative impact on my health. With that in mind I made sure that I continue to eat healthy. I am not a believer of sticking to the green or non-carbohydrate diet. I am a believer of balance diet.

For the past 2 years I would cook for the family using the balance concept. Every meal will have some green vegetables, rice for carbohydrate, and one or two portion of white meat. Once a week we will have red meat such as beef. The most important of all is to cut down on sugar intake. Other than juices for my kids, my beverage options are coffee, tea and water.

The results speak for themselves. My blood test results did not show any negative spike and my weight has been constant. Additionally, I did not experience any lack of energy in the 2 years cooped at home.

While this is in no way a scientific proven claim, my personal experience showed that a proper diet is way more important that having completed 6 hours of gym every week.

Trust and Respect – Between Manager and Employee

Photo by Kraken Images on Pexels.com

I have been in the management level for over 10 years now and one thing I learn over the years when it comes to getting things done is the importance of “Trust and Respect”. From my experience the trust and respect of manager place over the employees are more important than the other way round.

The old way of managing employees whereby employees must “kau tau” to managers is a thing of the past. This was true several decades ago when employees must show their loyalty to the companies they work for by following the orders of management. Nowadays, most resumes of job seekers are 2 pages long because on average they change jobs within 2 years.

In the new ways of working, there are more and more employees working remotely. Getting things done do not involve face to face meeting – everything is done through Zoom or other forms of teleconferencing. The question is how do you get the work done when you are not looking over the shoulders of the employees. Building trust and respecting each other are the answers.

One of the most difficult things to do when it comes to managing employees is building trust but it takes time. To start you need to hire the right person and the person has to be dependable. The same person will also need to be able to get work done with limited management. However, the ability of the employees could be stunted if management does not trust the employees and continue to micro-managing the work.

On the other hand the employees also need to demonstrate that they are dependable and be able to work with minimal supervision. The best way for the employee to achieve this is by taking ownership of the project or task assigned and complete it within budget or timeline. And needless to say that this takes time depending on the size of the organization. Employees in small companies or departments can achieve this within relatively short time. On the other hand, large companies do require more time.

In my previous job I had to manage a small team to redesign the reporting tool for the department. I was given the task as I inherited the reporting task for the Internal Audit function. Prior to that most work was done in Excel and it is usually prone to errors. The reporting tool I created was so well received that I expanded the reporting function. As the tool grew, the reporting tool became bloated. Having put a team together, I assigned tasks to different members of the team. As I delegated the tasks I learned to trust the work that was completed by each member. And in turn, the team members learn to trust me.

Once you build the trust, there should also be respect involved. Trust can only go so far if there is no respect for one another. The respect I am referring to is that everyone is different and there should be an understanding that each and everyone work differently. Additionally everyone has different circumstances why they work. Some may work to support a family while some may work for a very different reason.

I recall several years ago when I started working in my current job the manager I worked for tend to have a short temper. I’ve known him for a number of years but never work with him. As I get to know him more I realized that he is a very difficult person to work for. Not only he has short temper, I found out that he was sexist as well. My current subordinate used to work for him. She has a family and has different priorities than this manager. The manager always questioned the ability of this subordinate and verbally abused her multiple times. Obviously the exchange became heated up to a point a complaint was filed with Human Resources by the subordinate.

After the manager was fired, I took on the role of supervising the subordinate. As I got to know her more, I realized that not only we had a lot in common she can do good work if given the opportunity. As I place more reliance on her I gave her full reign of her work and let her take ownership of her work. Today she is an important member of the team and has earned praise among others through her work. She has thought me that if given the opportunity, with trust and respect positive things can be achieved.

Working environment is very different today as compared to previous years. Employees have as much say as managers of their work and career. As managers we should trust employees to work and at the same time we need to earn their trust as well. While it is hard to believe both managers and and employees have equal footings within an organization. The only differences are that managers have more responsibilities and are usually get paid more.

Mentoring and Networking to a Successful Career

I am an introvert person and naturally reaching out to people to talk is not an easy task for me. As I started working professionally I realized that if I want to climb the career ladder I need to be able to connect with others. Naturally as I started to talk to communicate I began to create the bridge and build a network of professionals.

I never considered networking as an important factor until recently after attending a leadership program last year. The second module of the training discussed the importance of networking. Before I attended the training I always incorrectly believed that networking is only for extroverts who excel in talking with all types of people. However, I was very surprised to hear that 80% of the attendees of the program proclaimed that they are introverts.

The question is why is networking important in the career world? The answer is a lot. For one, most of us do not work in silo; in most cases we are required to work with others in order to complete a task. Most important projects require a team and within a team there would be a group of people with different expertise to work on the project. Imagine building a rocket with a team consists of engineers, technicians and scientists, astrologists, etc.

We network all the time it just that we don’t realize. For example when we pick up the phone to call someone from another department to discuss an issue we are actually opening a channel to network. Or the meeting that we attended with the suppliers on how to implement a new system – that is also part of networking. We communicate with other parties to get things done and to achieve the ultimate outcome.

How do you create the network? The most important aspect is create a positive impression throughout the entire exchange. Creating frictions on the other hand will have an opposite effect. In addition to building good impression we need to reinforce the network by continue to have constant exchange. If for some reason that you lost the connection over the years, a simple catch up will instantly rebuild the network.

One of the mindset that we need to change about networking is it is not about needing something in return. We should not use our networks because we are looking for a job. It creates a wall of dishonesty and may have a negative effect on the relationship. For the past year I change my approach and reaching out to the past connections to catch up. Instead of asking for something in return I do a wellness check.

It is important to note that not all networking will result in positive return. We should treat networking as a long term investment. As you invest more time and effort in this activity, like all investments will create a positive return whether through better career advancement or getting things done.

Skills You Need for Successful Career in the Business World

I have been working professionally in the financial world for more than 20 years. While I would not categorize that I am “extremely” successful (or I would have been a CEO of a large company by now) I would consider myself as an “A” employee.

Climbing up the career ladder sometimes is quite daunting as there are other employees who are vying for the same positions. After working for over than 20 years for two large multi-national corporations I learned that there are certain skills that are very essential. If you just graduated from college and aspire to work in the business world, I hope the following pointers will give you some idea how to have a successful career.

Technical Skills

I recall when I worked at Arthur Andersen 20 years ago that some of the Partners did not know how to use a computer and all of the Partners had executive assistant (or secretaries) who would assist them, taking notes and answering phone calls. If you step in a large corporations today you would rarely see secretaries and everyone would be using a computer or laptop. On top of knowing how to use a computer, it is given that 90% of business people use Microsoft Office Suite software. Certain positions would require specialized skills in certain software such as Tableau, or data mining tool.

Logical Thinking

I find that having logical thinking is an extremely important skill. You cannot attend a meeting without thinking logically. Upper management today are more agile and they expect results quickly. As such in order to more faster management expect each employee to be able to adjust to the environment and think how to best approach the challenge. If you read the IBM of the yesteryear, everyone would dress in blue and go with the flow because that was how it was done.

Time Management Skills

Managing time is as important as getting things done. At any given time, an employee can have up to 20 to-do items, including major projects and minor tasks. Without a good time management skill it could spell disaster if certain projects could not be completed on time. It is no longer that easy going into an office and tackle the questions and challenges one at a time. To be able to meet all the deadlines all employees are expected to juggle their responsibilities effectively.

Communication Skills

Every year we are required to complete a performance management review. This annual exercise is to gauge if we are meeting company and personal goals. I recall several reviews that I had with my manager where I was rated less than ideal. And the skill that held me back was having good communication. Since then I worked twice as hard to improve my skills through taking training in speaking and writing. Additionally I learned to read my email twice before sending it out to avoid having confusion in what I am trying to convey.

Listening Skills

I list listening skills different from communication skills because it is not easy master the listening skills. Yes, all of us know what listening entails but to be able to move up the ladder in the business world you need to know when to start listening and when to start speaking. It is very easy for us to interrupt the speaker because we make assumption of the message that is being conveyed. I’ve seen a few people who tend to jump in the conversation without allowing the speaker to stop. Not only this is rude but it could cause confusion on what message that we as listener are suppose to pick up.

People Skills

Do you know what is the major difference between a CEO and high school teacher? A successful CEO is able to connect with his/her employees and get things done. A high school teacher only cares about getting the lessons across and hopefully the students understand the contents. To be able to climb up the career ladder it is important that we are able to have good rapport with the people we work with. Living under the rock and work on the project alone can only go so far.

Continuous Improvement

The company I work for care of future skills and it continues to encourage employees to gain knowledge through training (in person and virtual). However, all those investments would be wasted if employees do not care to improve their skills. When I had my performance management with my manager 15 years ago I told my manager that I did not take any training because I did not have the time. My manager told me that, “I make the time.” That was the wake up call that I need to focus on myself my continue to make commitment to learn new skills. Today, when schedule permits I would take training focusing on Artificial Intelligence and Anti-Money Laundering.

What I list here is not an exhausted list of skills that you should focus on. Depends on certain professions certain skills are are more important that others. For example if you are in investment banks, having good math skill is as important as good listening skill. Or if you are in communications department, you are likely place people skill first and technical skill last.

Writing Effective Resume for College Grads

I have been in management position for over 10 years now and during my tenure I have hired a number of people for entry level positions. I’ve seen my fair share of resumes and I can tell you that some resumes work better than other.

Resumes are as important as the national ID itself. They help identify who you are and get you in the door of hiring companies. Needless to say getting the right resumes can spell success or disaster.

There are thousands of books covering this subject. Besides books there are also myriad of experts touch on this subject. I’m not going to regurgitate what is important to put in a resume and what is trivial. Here I’m going to list what you should do and avoid on a resume. If you are recent college graduates, hope this will give you some pointers how to land your first in person interview.

Aces (What you should do!)

Resume Refresh – Nowadays getting connected in a new world has become the norm. However, for some reason resumes remain stuck in the past. Of all the resumes I’ve seen most of them continue to stuck to the same formatting, with the exception of one. The resume that I was referring to was redesigned like a webpage; it helps the reader to focus on important things with highlights and pop up areas. The resume caught my eye and I was excited to learn more about the person. Unfortunately, the candidate did not make the cut because she did not have the experience I was looking for. The point is it is highly recommend that you revamp your resume and stay away from the old traditional format.

Highlight Success – It is not enough just to list your job experience. To catch the eye of recruiters list all your successes during your years of experience. Don’t list what you have done but showed what you achieved. If you have certain achievements that helped a company, list it on the top. As an example, instead of saying you build an Excel template for the team to input inventory try to point out the time saved for the team because your Excel template enable a more effective way of categorizing inventory.

Check Formatting and Spelling – A resume that has tons of errors and spelling will automatically put your resume in the trash. This is perhaps one of the most critical things on a resume that a lot of candidates overlook but that can be easily fixed. If you send out an error full resume to a recruiter that signifies that you are careless and do not prioritize your work. These 2 traits are very important to any employer.

Summarize Your Experience – Most recruiters do not have the time to read every resume from top to bottom. What you need is summarize your experience or what you can do for the company. Personally, I’m interested in reading high level summary of the person on the top of the resume. In a business environment, this is call an Executive Summary. Instead of diving deep into the content of a report most executives will read of the summary if there is anything interesting or require their attention. This is very similar to a resume – present who you are in a way that the recruiter or hiring manager wants to know you.

Hide Trivial Matters – Similar to the point on summarizing your experience don’t overburden the reader. Don’t list any things or experience that do not add any value to your resume. You were placed second in the 2005 school marathon? Great! But leave it out. You worked as a cashier in a supermarket and trained a high school student how to use the cash machine? This is considered trivial and would not score you any points. Most recruiters want to see ground shaking experience and that you are an “A” type employee.

Avoid at All Cost

No Sports – It is really funny how Americans place emphasis on sports at school and colleges. Getting into soccer is like a rite of passage for kindergartners. My kids high school care more about football and soccer games that getting the grades. I have worked professionally for over 25 years and I can tell you that the subject of hiring someone who was good at sport never appear once. I understand that some may put sports on their resume because it is a team sport, but in most jobs this is a non-issue. What recruiters care about if you are capable to follow instructions and get things done.

No “Can Do” Personality – Do not categorize yourself as a “Can Do” person. Employers care about someone who takes initiatives and get things done with minimal supervision. Try to portray yourself as someone who takes up a challenge and innovative at the same time.

Don’t Lie – This is quite simple and yet a lot of candidates like to lie on their resumes. For a seasoned recruiter they can easily spot a fib by just do a quick glance. In other words don’t say you are an expert on everything. Instead, try to portray yourself who is excited to learn new things. Imagine that you were able to secure an interview but not able to respond to a question asked by the interviewer.

Don’t Overdo – Some resumes may require technical language. But for the most part resumes should kept simple and readable by a 4th grader. Dressing your resume with all “flowers” or technical jargon is a disservice to yourself. I have been writing management report for Board of Directors for over 7 years now and I can tell you that the chairperson prefer something that can be easily understood. Any abbreviations we use on our reports must be spelled out to avoid any confusion.

These are some of the pointers that I believe are important. Writing good resumes require a lot of work and what I have here may not cover everything. If you consider my points above I believe you will be one step closer to get your foot in the door.

Side-Hustle De-bunked!

Over the past few years I have been trying to get a side-hustle to supplement my income. Not that I need it but I find that a second stream of income appealing and after reading so many great “success” stories I say to myself “why not?”

If you are reading this you are probably questioning the success rate of a side-hustle or you are interested in jumping on the bandwagon. Who is not interested in earning extra cash beside their full-time jobs? Well, today I’m going to tell you that not all side-hustle are successful. Some people were able to make a good amount of money from side-hustles and I do not question the validity of these claims.

A few months ago I read this article that claims some side gigs can make you richer than a full-time job. I immediately click on the link and start reading every words. As I was reading the first job it listed, I started to question if the writer who wrote this was insane.

I work professionally in a bank and I can tell you that the article would not apply to me because no matter which side-hustle that I want to do would not make me richer than my current full-time job. Let’s de-bunk some of the claims.

Time Commitment

The definition of a side-hustle refers to a job that you take on on the side. Usually it is for full-timers already have a job and is interested in doing extra work to earn extra income. Unfortunately there are only so many hours in a day and usually the work hours are in the day. So for full-timers like me in order to have a side gig I have to commit to a second job after 5 PM. That is not going to happen because by the end of the day after by banking job I get too tired to do anything else. As a husband and a father, I would rather use the free time to connect with my family than strangers.

Building Clientele

Understandably that people may have been more successful than others when it comes to second gig. However, in order to be successful you need to have enough clients to make the extra income. Let use online tutor as an example, you will need to have enough students to attend your class in order for you to be successful. That is easier to say than to actually make it happen. If you are thinking about that job, there are already hundreds of people in front of you already doing the same thing.

Subject Matter Expertise (SME)

If you read the article that I refer to some of the jobs require certain expertise in order to earn that rate. Let’s take one of the jobs listed as an example, a bookkeeper or an online instructor, how many of us can claim that we are a bookkeeper or great online instructor? We can fake it but sooner or later we would get caught and lose the credibility. I am quite handy when it comes to fixing certain things around my house; however, I will never be able to claim that I am a certified plumber or electrician.

Who wouldn’t want to be rich one day. Unfortunately, all the side-hustles that the internet is listing may never lead to immediate wealth. We need to take all these advise as a grain of salt because while some jobs may help some gain some extra income but I can tell you that for the majority of us they are just wishful thinking.

Should I Resign and Look for Greener Pasteur

If you have read recent news how many companies that have started to open up after last year’s lock down are having challenges in finding employees. This is particular true for those in the retail and restaurant businesses.

This phenomenon appears to hit many other industry as well. The reasons for not able to find people to fill the openings are myriad. But if you parse through these reasons most if not all fall into two categories: 1) self-satisfaction or self-worth and 2) higher salaries.

I am no different as I ponder the same question. I have worked professionally in several multi-national companies and I always struggled with the question, should I start venturing out and look for better opportunites? Believe it or not, this question is not easy to answer as there are many factors to consider and there are also a lot of dependencies.

I still remember vividly when I was called in the office of one of the new directors who was brought in to take over the reporting function of Citigroup Internal Audit. She told me straight in the face that I need to start looking for a new job if I stayed in the same position for 3 years. That awakening moment really made me think. That director totally disregard all the work I put in and essentially kicked me out of the door. There is good coming out of the whole event as I was able to move on and found better position outside of Citigroup.

So the question remains, should we resign and look for better opportunities after 3 years? I’ve been in my current role for 7 years now and I can tell you that I have never been unhappy nor over stressed. I believe that I am contributing positively to the company and I am valued by my peers. But the nagging question remains.

Earlier in the year I decided to reach out to my previous managers and colleagues from Andersen and Citigroup to get their opinions. And the answers I receive may surprise you.

I asked all of them the same question and all of them told me that if I’m happy with where I am there is no reason to look outside unless the aim is to obtain a higher paid position. I realized that if I get a higher paid job does not really translate to a higher satisfaction job. I knew a few people who found a better paying jobs but they feel more miserable.

My current employee, HSBC, is a great company to work for if I have to compare to my previous employers. While the bank continues to face multiple headwinds due to the economic and regulatory environments, I can honestly say that it does care for the well-being of the employees. More importantly I feel valued by my colleagues and my peers. Also the company invests heavily in providing all types of training and offer outside skills to every employees. So there is a tremendous opportunity to learn new things outside of current role.

With that being said, have you ponder the same question whether you want to look for new opportunities? The answer is if you are happy where you are, there is no reason to.

Stressed? Here are 5 ways to De-Stress…

My masterpiece – a scale model for stress relief

When my second son was born, both my wife and I had difficult time taking care of him. Although he wasn’t colicky but he was definitely gave us a hard time particularly during feeding. At some point I questioned why did we put ourselves through it. But being parents it was something that we both have to learn how to be patient. I can tell you that I was so stressed that I felt hopeless and angry most of the time.

My son just turned 17th and he just passed his driving test. Looking back while he was growing up I can tell you he is a joy in our family because he is always happy and has tons of “fun” energy. He is a blessing to us and I wouldn’t change a thing if I can turn go back in time.

Now you may asked how I was able to go through such hardship (if you want to call parenting hard) and come out victorious. I think it has to do with how I see myself and how I deal with the stress. Some stress is healthy but if you are burdened with stress then it could become suicidal.

Today I’m going to list 5 ways to deal with stress that I find useful. There are other ways as well but I’m not going to list everyone of them as it may take more than one post.

Enjoy Something that Takes Time to Complete

Invest time in doing something you really enjoy. I’m not talking about something that can be completed in an hour. I’m referring to a project that can take hours or days to complete, and it has to be something that you enjoy. For example, you can try putting a 1,000 pieces of jigsaw or maybe try building the dog house. For me, it is spending hours building the perfect scale model. As my kids are all grown up I have been spending more and more time in this hobby. It takes a lot of patience and at times frustrating if I don’t get certain parts correct. However, I can tell you that it is the best way for me to de-stress.

Start a Work-out Regime

This is an easy thing to start and complete. However, it requires commitment. If you set a SMART goal, getting into the groove can help de-stress. Imagine have a workout regime with the goal to run 5 miles within a month time. Having a goal not only helps you focus, but it also helps you de-stress. It would be even better if you can join a group of friends with the same goal in mind. This will put you in the competitive mode and further help in keeping the stress level down.

Reading a Book, Listen to Music or Write a Blog

Before I started working on my hobby, I would go to the local library and borrow the new books which only have 2 weeks lending period. It helps me de-stress as I had a separate deadline to complete. I find that if I enjoy the book time flies and I would not even notice the 2 weeks deadline. Nowadays I would have a music playing while I’m working. It helps me focus more and reduce the stress with the multitude deadlines that I have. At the end of the day (like right now) or end of the week writing a blog also helps refocus my thoughts.

Take a Walk

I still remember vividly when I started working for HSBC. The deadlines and the workload was unbearable that I always went home angry after work. It was definitely not healthy to my family and myself. One day during work I decided to drop everything and step away from my desk. I took a two hours walk around my office coming refreshed. Since then I learned to remove myself from my laptop when I feel stressed.

Spending Time with Family

If you read my earlier post, my daughter is having difficulty with her anxiety. I have begun to spend more time with her and talk to her more often. I find that not only it helps me understand my daughter more I also felt more relaxed. Having someone to talk to is important, especially with someone you care. If you feel overwhelmed do not feel bad or ashamed that you need to talk.

Do not less stress get the better of you. Some stress is healthy but if it becomes overwhelming, it can cause more than just losing sleep. It is extremely important that you take care of yourself by knowing yourself. Learning to de-stress is different for everyone. You need to search within yourself to see what works for you. As long as you can do something you enjoy, you are one step closer from being burnt out.

Why We Decided to Own a Dog

Today’s post is a little different from my normal subject. However, it does relate to mental health indirectly. This post is about a new member in our family, Tofu, a small Havanese puppy.

When I was growing up in Malaysia, it was quite common for every family to have a dog or two. All of the dogs were either stray or mixed. My family owned several dogs of which some were docile and some were difficult. So I had my fair share of dogs.

After moving to the US my family had no urge to own any dogs because we were having difficulty adjusting to the life in the US. Plus, dog’s life in the US is very different from those in Asia. Dog’s life in the US is like heaven because they are pet and pampered, and not to mention very expensive. On the other hand, dogs in Asia serve a purpose. They are used to guard the properties. None of the dogs that my family had were pampered nor treated like pets; they were used as tools.

The past week was perhaps history in the making because we decided to purchase a dog for ourselves. Now that my children are all grown up, I feel that it is the perfect time to add this new family member. I understand that taking care of puppy is a lot of work but the family is ready to put their efforts to make this a successful journey.

The question is why would we own a dog?

Quite simply the reason we are getting the dog is to help my daughter getting over her anxiety attack. After speaking with her and understand her feelings a few weeks ago, I felt that there could be more things I could do to help her to overcome her trouble. One of method is to encourage her to love someone or something and share her feelings. A puppy could be the best remedy because a dog will love you back unconditionally if you treat it well.

So what has changed in the past few days after we brought the puppy home? My daughter is now spending more of her time outsider her bedroom. She also has become more jubilant as well. I also observe a markedly improvement how she carries herself.

Tofu is considered a toy dog, but she has her own adorable behavior as well. There are goods and there are a few bad with the tiny puppy. One of the things that we are learning is how to teach her to behave. Unfortunately, dogs are animal and they do not understand human language. With practice and some positive reinforcement I believe we can teach Tofu to behave. Only time will tell. Just like life – there are ups and downs; with enough practice and patience we shall overcome the difficulties in life.

I told myself years ago that I will never own a dog because I have no need for it. Now I need it to help my daughter. Will spending that kind of money to own a pure breed toy dog be worthwhile? We shall see.